Sure, Shelly Duncan has a girl's name, but the down-home, corn-fed country boy can really hit. He came up to the big club over the weekend and hit three homers, including two in yesterday's gangbang of the Tampa Bay pitching staff. The 21-4 pasting came a day after a 17-5 ass-whipping. My awful softball team doesn't get beaten this badly... though, that's likely because of the mercy rule. Yes, guys, I think the Devil Rays get the point. Doing that against good teams would be fun, too. And that brings us to the point, here... before we all get too excited about Shelly Duncan, let's see him hit off someone other than John Sheilds, or whatever his name was.

In other weekend sports news, Sergio Garcia's career may have just officially come to an end. Oh, sure, he'll keep playing, but he'll probably never be the same. He blew the British Open that he had owned all weekend, and now the stigma of not winning a major has got to be in his head. It's really fine, though, since Colin Montgomerie is getting on in years so it's time for a new weak-kneed Euro to take his place.

And in awful baseball news, a coach was hit in the head with a line drive and died. Just reading the story is so sad. Sorry for the downer this morning.