As you may have heard, the IOC investigated the Chinese gymnasts on allegations that they're under age and therefore ineligible to compete. The IOC wrapped up the investigation after a mere 4 short hours.
Continuing our developing story, we've intercepted a phone call from the Chinese government made to the International Olympic Committee. This may shed some light on the brevity of the investigation. The transcript follows:
IOC: Hello, this is the IOC. We have found evidence that three of your gold medal winning gymnasts are under the minimum required age.
China: Who is this? Frank? At least you could have said you were calling from Shanghai.
IOC: No Mr. China, I'm afraid this really is the IOC. We're going to have to strip those athletes of their gold medals.
China: Listen here mother father! I made you! I own you! Without me you're nothing!
IOC: I'm sorry, but you broke the rules.
China: No, no, let me apologize for getting upset. What I meant to say earlier was that I'd like to have you over for dinner. We're eating your balls!
IOC: Oh. Um. Sixteen. Yep they're all sixteen. Thanks again. Have a great day. Please don't shoot me.