Sideboob Friday; The Eastern Illinois Edition
Does that headline mean we'll be featuring sideboobs from the girls who attended Eastern Illinois? No, it doesn't. It means that Purdue is playing Game 2 of their quest for world (or at least Big Ten) domination this weekend against Division I-AA Eastern Illinois. DI-AA schools are all the rage now that Appalachan State busted down the door against Michigan last weekend, to the point where the AP is now going to allow votes to be cast for I-AA schools, if voters so desire. So maybe Eastern Illinois will get their long-awaited due next weekend. Or maybe not.
The Boilers have their home opener tomorrow, a week after opening on the road at Toledo and absolutely smoking the Rockets, 52-24. How will the Boilers fare at home against the likely lesser opponent tomorrow? Let's turn to our in-house panel of experts.
boilerdowd: My prediction for the game is Purdue whipping up on 'em, even if suspensions are handed down to all guilty parties. (This is a reference to an ugly bar-fighting incident that led to Selwyn Lymon getting stabbed and a number of Purdue football players nearly beating some guy to death outside a bar and then lying to police about it. More on this in another post.) Purdue 49, E. Illinois 12. Running game will be extremely dominant.
Tim: Hopefully the App State game has them awake and ready. I don't think there will be a problem this week. I'm looking for close to 500 yards of offense for Purdue and about 250 for Eastern Illinois.I'm guessing Purdue 45, Eastern Illinois 17.
J Money: I like boobies.
boilerdowd: Yes, we know. But what do you think about the game tomorrow?
J Money: Boobies!
Tim: Has he been hit in the head?
boilerdowd: Tim, just show him your boobies...
J Money: Okay, fine. Boilers roll after some Painter gets over some home-field pumped-up jitters (that lead to him firing overthrown missles with fire coming off them). Purdue 51, Eastern Illinois 17.
By the way, did somebody mention boobies? That's right, it's Sideboob Friday. Buckle up.
Today's first picture is this week's reader submission. Submitted to us by our friend Doug who has submitted in the past, this is Joanna Krupa and this photo shows her girls are just longing to stretch out and enjoy the day, unfettered by fabric of any kind. Thanks for the submission, Doug. Good find.
Picture two is Vanessa Marcil, just because there are few things better than flesh-colored dresses. It kind of makes her look naked, which allows us a better visual of what she might indeed look like naked without all the fuss of an arrest for public lewdness and indecency. Not that any of us would turn Vanessa in if she decided to walk around naked.
Hey, it's U.S. Open time and so why not throw some more haphazard theming into this post with a picture of everybody's current favorite female tennis hottie, Maria Sharapova. Oh, Maria, you're just toying with us now, aren't you? Bending over, showing off your hooters while grabbing two balls in your hand.... wait, I'm getting lightheaded writing that sentence...
Today's final pic is again all part of a carefully (or half-assed) theme for today's Friday boob extravaganza. This is Carrie Underwood, who, unless I'm misinformed, is dating one of the more overrated QBs in the NFL, Eastern Illinois' own Tony Romo. See how I bring everything full-circle? It's kind of a meandering, aimless-seeming route, but by the end of our walk together, we're holding hands, gazing at each other in love and you're wearing my varsity jacket.
No, I don't know what I'm saying, either. Have a good weekend, boys.
Sideboob Friday is a production of Boiled Sports and runs every Friday in this space. During the football season, it may also contain our picks for that weekend's Purdue matchup and more nonsense than usual. If you'd like to share boobie goodness or just say something that you can't say to anyone else, we're always listening at BoiledSports@gmail.com.