Here we go. Let the minimizing of Purdue begin. We're not allowed to think of Notre Dame as a rival, it appears. Playing for 64 straight years and counting doesn't establish a rivalry, I guess.

This article, from the unbiased WNDU.com, refers to Purdue as a "rival" of Notre Dame. Yes, writer Angela DeCarlo put it in quotes. Because, you know, as she says:

On Saturday, Notre Dame and Purdue will meet for the 81st time. For the Irish, it's pretty much like any other game. But for the Boilers, it's one of their biggest of the season.

Indeed. Because we're just little Purdue. We're meaningless. We get it. Also, Angela... you're an ass. If you want to let Angela know she's an ass, feel free: angelo.dicarlo@wndu.com. It's not like she has anything else to do in South Bend.

And then there are the ultimate mouth-breathing, excuse-makers... these clowns.

That link is yet another wonderful example of the stupendously blinding arrogance that goes with -- and is required for -- Notre Dame fandom.

They go through each team they play and belittle any team that "claims" Notre Dame is a rival. And the only one they say is a rival? USC, of course. And, class, do you know who USC's rival is? That's right, UCLA.

And as for Purdue?

Purdue (zzzzzzzz) -- claim to be a rival. Not even close. Not even close to within eyesight of a range in the proximity of close to being a rival.

Okay. Uh, guess what, fellas? You don't get to decide. Many programs hate Notre Dame because of reasons that people like you personify!

Purdue and Notre Dame have met 80 times. They're both in Indiana. They've met every year since 1949. (You know, back when Notre Dame was relevant in the way they believe they still are.) And they even play for a rivalry trophy. I know, I know, wait! Don't tell me! It means more to us than to you! Right? How'd I know you imbeciles would say that?

I guess in the end they're right. It's not a rivalry. Indiana is our rival. It's hard for Notre Dame to have a rival, being without a true conference affiliation. In those situations, I guess you just make up who your rival is, and in this case, they've chosen a program -- USC -- that should make anyone laugh out loud when hearing the two football programs compared. Sure, in the 1940s, Notre Dame had a claim. Not anymore.

They wrap up yet another stellar piece of fifth-grade level writing thusly:

This doesn’t, and isn’t meant to, belittle our opponents that are not rivals.

Of course not. Especially those that smoke you this year.

It’s just that, by definition, any given team can only really have 1-2 rivals. We have USC. USC has us and UCLA. Pitt has WVU. Purdue has Being Awake. Michigan has Graduation Rates.

Ah, I see. You can have two rivals. That covers USC having their real one and the one Notre Dame made up. Oh, and we're still going with Purdue being "boring," eh? Solid.

So how does this happen? How can we be everyone’s rival?

You're not.

We’re ND. That’s how.

Teams look at Notre Dame on the schedule, and they circle the game. They get fired up. Their fans get fired up. This is why ND gets the best from its opponents week in and week out – for THEM, it’s a rivalry game.

No, most teams, fans, players, mascots, concession stand workers, policemen, parking attendants and other rational human beings.... they all just hate you and your arrogance. Posts like this are supporting exhibits.

For US, it’s another week. Which makes the challenge even that much greater.

Ah, here we go. The patented, Notre Dame, our wins should be valued more because they're even HARDER than your wins. This is similar to how whenever they lose, the other team or QB is just amazing -- they'd have to be in order to beat the Domers, right? I mean, either that or the officials are to blame.

No matter how boring Purdue might be, for them this is a rivalry game, and they’ll give us their best shot (as boring as that shot may be), and a much better shot than they gave NIU.

I hope the players think Purdue is boring, too. You assclown.

ND needs to be ready, each and every week. After all, almost every week is Rivalry Week when you’re Notre Dame, right?

Only in your head. As I said, I guess it's just as good as any excuse to explain why you lose -- other teams get more "up" for Notre Dame, so it's harder to win.

Yes, we get it. We're not your rival. And that's fine.

We still hate you.