I don't know about you, but I'm very afraid. Our Most Hated Rival (or OMHR) is coming into town this weekend and they're bringing their loyal fans.

Well, sort of. I mean, they'll be there. They think. Unless the bus breaks down. Or they can't find a place to park. Oh, and if the game goes into overtime, they might have to jet early.

Seriously, does nobody who went to Iowa own a car? Is it because farm equipment is inconvenient to drive on interstate highways? What if this game, which was only recently slated for 12 noon, had been put into the 3:30 time slot? What would they have done about returning the bus to the depot, dammit??

Based on the post I linked above, which is hilarious in the unintentional way, I see the following as the BHGP schedule for Saturday (best case scenarios on the timing):

11:00 AM -- Bus arrives in West Lafayette.
11:15 AM -- Bus is parked.
11:45 AM -- Tailgate area located.
12:00 PM -- Grills lit, beers opened.
12:08 PM -- First Iowa fan notes that the tailgating areas are emptying fast.
12:10 PM -- Iowa fans begin to realize the time. Shiny object distracts them.
12:25 PM -- Someone broaches the idea of leaving for the game.
12:38 PM -- Someone agrees and the group begins shambling towards Ross-Ade.
12:52 PM -- The group realizes they've walked a mile in the wrong direction.
1:15 PM -- BHGP fan contingent reaches their seats.
3:00 PM -- Game ends, BHGP fan contingent screams a few obscenities (win or lose) and sprints to bus.
3:30 PM -- Bus departs for Chicago.
4:00 PM -- BHGP fan contingent declares trip to Purdue a "wild success" and "the most exciting thing ever."

Bonus points to Travis of H&R for completely hoodwinking unsuspecting Hawkeye fans by leading them to believe they had a primo tailgate spot to overrun only to yank the rug out from under them, Wile E Coyote style. Well done, sir. This is what they get for underestimating you. (I know an apology will be forthcoming to Iowa fans for leading them astray, but for now I shall enjoy.)

Also, hey, look everyone, the coach bus and its crew (I envision the flight attendants from Tony Stark's private jet, don't you?) "cannot stay indefinitely afterward." I mean, they'd like to burn down West Lafayette, beat up all the fraternity boys, make out with all the women and eat all the fried cheese in sight.... but they can't. You understand. Charter companies and all.

Yeeah, brah! Let's tailgate! For ten minutes!

Speaking of charter buses, why the hell do you need a bus to transport your sorry ass from Chicago to West Lafayette? It's 120 miles. On one highway. Are Iowans this easily lost? Get on I-65 South from Chicago. That's all. Of course, this also leads me to ask what Iowans do in Chicago itself -- stand on the sidewalk looking up at the tall buildings? 

Regardless, I like that in the end it sounds like the mighty BHGP tailgating contingent is instead going to be a scattershot effort, strewn across the Purdue campus at various places and times.

Should be intimidating.