(Feature photo credit: Bobby Goddin/For IndyStar)

The less said about last night’s game vs IU, the better.

We took that line to heart and there was a mix-up in the Boiled Sports offices and nobody knew who was on duty to write this postgame. In the end, it was like the climax of Armageddon:

“Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws.”

In the end, Purdue did what they always do to Indiana – they beat them. That this game was close could be attributed to a lot of factors. Maybe Indiana took heed to Archie’s comments following the Minnesota game where he implied changes could be coming. Maybe being at home against their in-state big brother drove them to dig deep. Or maybe they got lucky that Carsen Edwards had possibly the worst shooting night we’ve seen and will see again from him.

Seriously, think about that – Carsen Edwards had nine points on 4/24 shooting. That’s under a 17% clip, including 0/10 from deep. Good gracious. If he has even a marginally decent game, Purdue wins by 10-15 points and this night is a nonstory.

As it stood, Purdue won a game by scoring only 48 points, which isn’t something a team that scores this well does often. Each team had only one guy in double figures. For Purdue, it was senior Ryan Cline whose parents were in attendance at Assembly Hall. Cline had 11 points on 4/10 shooting and 3/8 from outside…which in a game like this made him look like an Army Ranger sniper.

On the IU side, Romeo Langford put in 14 but nine of those were from the free throw line – he was 2/6 from the field.

The central figure in this game, though, was Purdue sophomore Matty Haarms. Haarms had six points, including the game-winning tip-in over Juwan Morgan’s back (denying the game-high rebounder) with three seconds to go. Haarms also got tangled up a couple of times with De’Ron Davis, who, well…at 6-10, 255, that’s probably a lot more De’Ron than Matt would like to tangle with. I will say, though, Matt Haarms may be the guy who causes the first IU-Purdue fight on the hardwood that I’ve ever seen. College basketball fights are rare outside of Cincinnati, but man, if he doesn’t piss guys off. Add to that Haarms’ excitable, demonstrative nature and you have a guy who the rest of the conference hates. Which is, of course, fine with us. Though it does seem like IU fans may hate him more than the others.

Haarms couldn’t resist taking a shot during his postgame interview and let me just say I have no issue with this level of snark after having the F-Word chanted at him all night:

This expert doesn’t think Purdue fans even like Haarms. He’s talked to somewhere between -3 and zero Purdue fans. It’s science!

And what of that profanity? You know who would not have stood for that? Robert Montgomery Knight, that’s who!

I’m not sure that guy is thinking of the same Bob Knight. But he does get a prize for keeping the streak alive of Bob Knight being mentioned every single day when talking about IU basketball. Seriously, weirdos, that era is over. Stop comparing everything and everybody to that giant, embarrassing horse’s ass.

Since we’re on a twitter roll, you know what you’re dealing with when an IU fan sees a loss. They have only one real go-to. The last functioning brain cell goes into the Comeback Jukebox and searches for its lone track.

Yes, as we all know, the proper response when you get de-pantsed is to cite how good you used to be at varying times from 1940 to 1987. You know, back before anyone but white guys were allowed to play and almost entirely before the adoption of the three-point shot (which was officially added by the NCAA for the 1986-87 season). So, yeah, what I’m saying is it’s very relevant. And as I like to tell people who barf up that stupid, toothless comeback: Look, guys, nobody here is arguing that IU used to be a good program.

I especially love this guy:

What is he even talking about? Notre Dame doesn’t have any tourney titles. Silly rabbit.

The last time IU beat Purdue in basketball, Romeo was a sophomore in high school. The time before that? He was a 7th grader. Yes, that’s right. Purdue has lost to IU in basketball once since the current freshman class was in seventh grade. Purdue is 8-1 in their last nine against that cesspool in Bloomington. We’re at 1096 days and counting since an IU win in basketball over Purdue, a number likely to stretch to almost 1400 without much trouble. Drink it in, friends.

You know what else you should drink in? The trek that Aaron Lai, current Purdue student, went on to raise money in Tyler Trent’s memory. Aaron walked from Purdue to IU on 100-mile route from Sunday to right about gametime on Tuesday. Here’s his story:

He’s raised $24,000 as of this writing. If you want to donate a few bucks, go to his gofundme and have at it.

So what’s next?

Purdue is now tied atop the conference at 12-3 and has five games remaining, with three being on the road. So yes, you’ve got two games left in Mackey Arena for Ryan Cline, Grady Eifert (annnnnnd Boogie?).

Next up is at Nebraska on Saturday. That’s followed by home games against Illinois and OSU and then Purdue closes on the road at Minnesota and Northwestern. Given what a meat-grinder the Big Ten has been this season, that is an eminently decent finishing stretch. Go get a Big Ten crown, Boilermakers.