BS Predicto: Kicking the Bucket Edition

How dear to this heart are the scenes of my childhood,
When fond recollection presents them to view!
The orchard, the meadow, the deep-tangled wild-wood,
And every loved spot which my infancy knew!
The wide-spreading pond, and the mill that stood by it,
The bridge, and the rock where the cataract fell,
The cot of my father, the dairy-house nigh it,
And e'en the rude bucket that hung in the well-
The old oaken bucket, the iron-bound bucket,
The moss-covered bucket which hung in the well.

– Samuel Woodworth

It’s bucket time, that magical time of year when Purdue humiliates the Hoosiers and retains our rightful property.

Of course, the times, they are a-changin’, as the Boilermakers continue to make history (the bad kind). This time, they’re a three touchdown underdog to a pretty bad IU team. IU has no hope of a bowl game and rumblings about Kevin Wilson’s job security would probably increase this offseason if anyone cared about IU football. Winning this game would seem mandatory for the Hoosiers – how often do they have a chance to kick Purdue when they’re down like this?

On the other side, Purdue has ever so slowly inched closer to a victory. They’ve closed the gap down to a four point loss last weekend on Senior Day. The Hoosiers are definitely better than the Illini, so Purdue will need to play a lot better to even be in this game after halftime. And I can’t believe I just wrote those words. When you’re hoping to hang with IU and not get embarrassed, you know it’s a truly deplorable season.

As for the predictos…well, it’s clear the boys had too many carbohydrates and adult beverages.

Panda says:

The bleeding is almost over.  One more game separates the Boilermakers and one of the worst seasons in the history of the program.  It's time to finally end this nightmare in Gloomington.  

IU is a 21 point favorite in Gloomington, I'm not sure they have ever been favored this heavily and that speaks to the state of Purdue right now.  

I unfortunately will be making the trek down to Gloomington to watch what is sure to be this nightmare of a game on all fronts.  Maybe the Boilermakers will surprise us, but I'm not holding my breath.  

IU 45 Purdue 28 

Zlionsfan (in an effort to be cute, I guess) says:

Saturday, the Purdue volleyball team hosts Michigan State in its regular-season finale, with both clubs at 10-9 in conference play, seemingly assured of an NCAA tournament bid. Purdue's RPI is just two spots below Michigan State's, with the Spartans at #27 and the Boilers at #29, which is actually eighth in the conference.

That's right. For as good as the Pac-10/Pac-12 have been, the addition of Nebraska (and of Penn State before that) has arguably made the Big Ten the premier women's volleyball conference in the country. Five of the last seven titles were won by current Big Ten teams, and last year's championship match between Texas and Oregon was the first since 2003 that did not feature a current Big Ten team.

So the Boilers' struggles are much more schedule-based than what we might be accustomed to in other sports (not to name any names). As unexpected as a home loss to Northwestern was (sadly, the Wildcats are not one of the seven conference teams above Purdue), a season sweep of Nebraska was equally unexpected and much more enjoyable, given that their 3-1 win in Lincoln has been the Huskers' only home loss this season.

A win over the Spartans would give Purdue their fourth consecutive 20-win season and seventh in 11 seasons under head coach Dave Shondell, who is only the fourth coach in program history. It would also quiet what was, last year, easily the most obnoxious opponent the Boilers faced ... as well-behaved as volleyball crowds tend to be, they're easily provoked by a squad that insisted on making annoying whooping sounds on the bench after every point won. (Apparently the pregame announcement about showing respect to the coaches, players, and officials (do we have to?) doesn't apply to the other team itself?) There's probably a lesson in there about coaching ... at any rate, with no chance of hosting first- and second-round matches, this will certainly be the last match in West Lafayette for seniors Carly Cramer, Rachel Davis, Hilliary Fox, Katie Griffin, and Catherine Rebarchak.

Fresh off a fifth consecutive defense of the Monon Spike after winning it back from Indiana in 2007, expect Cramer and the rest of the seniors to defend home court and silence the Spartans for the seventh straight season in Holloway, setting up the Boilers to win their ninth consecutive first-round NCAA appearance. (Purdue's last first-round loss was in 1990; that was followed by a thirteen-season tournament drought before Shondell's second team returned to postseason play in 2004.)

Michigan State	17	19	25	14
Purdue	25	25	23	25

The Bucket? Let us not speak of it. (Oh, fine. IU 37-10. Now stop bugging me.)

[Well, that was adorable. – Ed.]

J says:

It’s no longer really a question – this is the worst Purdue football season of the collective BS memory. Boilerdowd has been watching the longest, going back about 30 years, give or take, and he has said to me more than once that he can’t remember one this awful. And the statistics back it up, because the only awful season – record-wise – that you can compare it to is 1993, when the Boilers were also a one-win team, but that team wasn’t as utterly inept at absolutely everything. They never lost a single game by more than 24 points – the 2013 squad has lost by over thirty five separate times. Some have pointed out that this year’s team had a brutal schedule and they did. But it’s currently adjusted to be about the 13^th toughest in the nation right now – 1993’s was 7^th toughest. So it’s not like they played easier competition.

My point? No idea. I’ve eaten too much. And drank too much. And now the basketball team is showing signs of their infuriating personality from last season. So I’m just salty.

I clearly expected a lot more from this team this year. I was assuming that Purdue would not get markedly worse at…everything. I also didn’t factor in the seniors on the team being as little a part of things as they’ve been. Were these guys really that loyal to Danny Hope?

Purdue could send us all off with a modicum of hope and excitement for next season if they pull the upset Saturday and take down the hated Hoosiers. It also might hasten another coaching change in Bloomington, something Purdue has done before (DiNardo may have been fired before he got to the locker room). But let’s think about this… has a Purdue team ever won a road game as a three TD underdog? I have no idea, but I doubt it’s happened in recent history. And given how rare that sort of thing is, can you see this Purdue team being the one to do it? I desperately hope they can because I really don’t like seeing losses to IU no matter what.

IU 45, Purdue 24

Tim says:

I like BIG BUTTS and I cannot lie!

You other muthas can’t deny!

When this team walks in with their itty bitty O and bad D in your face, the other team gets SPRUNG! (For a touchdown.)

I look up to Brick Tamland and also like to be rarely late. My other idol is Ellis Burks. What?

Purdue 56, IU 35, just like last year.

Boilerdowd says:

Good guys start out competitive and it’s a 14-14 game…. And then, as we’ve seen as recently as last weekend, run out of gas.

IU 42, Purdue 17